2.28.2007

Here It Is.



Here it is the long awaited most anticipated photograph of the year.

Change.

Change is good and that's why there are new colors...and so that you can see links like this one.


Oh yeah and I'm still trying to find my usb cord so I can upload the pictures from the Black and White Party...I promise by tonight they will be somewhere other than in my camera.

2.27.2007

Shake it.

This is simply brilliant.

2.24.2007

Opinion

In discussion with my Lawyer today...yes that does sound pretty cool Lawyer. I found out what I already knew...blogging is not a crime. The words on my former blog were not ones of harm but of personal opinion, an opinion that hurt one mans pride and caused me to lose my job. So this upcoming Thursday when I walk into that court room with my fingers crossed that the big guy himself will be there I will be thinking of you Artichoke blog community. Keep doing what your doing and do it without shame, do it with names even...just make sure that it's always a matter of opinion.

I will see you all tonight.


Cheese bread
Originally uploaded by Smaku.
!!! BREAD IS DANGEROUS !!!

Research on bread indicates that:

1. More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread users.
2. Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests.
3. In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and influenza ravaged whole nations.

4. More than 90 percent of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of eating bread.
5. Bread is made from a substance called "dough." It has been proven that as little as one pound of dough can be used to suffocate a mouse. The average American eats more bread than that in one month!

6. Primitive tribal societies that have no bread exhibit a low incidence of cancer, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's disease, and osteoporosis.
7. Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread and given only water to eat begged for bread after as little as two days.
8. Bread is often a "gateway" food item, leading the user to "harder" items such as butter, jelly, peanut butter, and even cold cuts.
9. Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since the human body is more than 90 percent water, it follows that eating bread could lead to your body being taken over by this absorptive food product, turning you into a soggy, gooey bread-pudding person.

10. Newborn babies can choke on bread.
11. Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 400 degrees Fahrenheit! That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than one minute.
12. Most American bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling.

In light of these frightening statistics, it has been proposed that the following bread restrictions be made:

1. No sale of bread to minors.
2. A nationwide "Just Say No To Toast" campaign, complete celebrity TV spots and bumper stickers.
3. A 300 percent federal tax on all bread to pay for all the societal ills we might associate with bread.
4. No animal or human images, nor any primary colors (which may appeal to children) may be used to promote bread usage.
5. The establishment of "Bread-free" zones around schools.

This article was written by B.S. Wheatberry in a desert after consuming mass quantities of yeast bread then realizing his canteen was empty. (seriously :P )

2.22.2007

Apology

After reading my email I decided that the previous post about my court date was just asinine. My unemployment is my issue and should not be put on my friends, I apologize for the last post as I meant no harm by it. I was caught up in the moment and I should have taken that moment to think things through and think of what's really important and this court date is not important. It is merely a meeting to discuss whether I pay back some money or not it has nothing to do with character issues or justice...just unemployment. I am sorry if I offended anyone and grateful that I have such a level headed mentor all at the same time.

2.20.2007

Construction


Construction Sign
Originally uploaded by PartsnPieces.
Let me pose this question to you,

Why must everyone point out the obvious?

Example #1

At my parents gas station we are remodeling, now this is making a big mess, the store is shrunk down to one corner and we have part of it blocked off by a big tarp. In addition to this tarp there is dust and lot's of noise. So what do most people say when they walk through the door? "Are you guys remodeling?" Now my answer is always polite but I really want to say "No, construction is the new wave in gas station motifs"

Example #2

It's 14 degrees outside...oh lets make it -14degrees. Same guy walks through the door later that day, he skips over the construction bit and goes with "Man it's freezing out there"

I have nothing to say this man....It's Februrary...yes it's cold, put on a damn jacket.

Example #3

Oh forget example #3 you get the point. It's mad just plain mad...you know what your saying is true when it comes out of your mouth, really I will not be offended if you have nothing to talk about with me. If you come into the station and ask me for your cigarettes, hand me the money I give you your change tell you to have a nice day and that's it, no more, no less. I don't need the extra information because I already know it.

One night I actually counted how many people stated the fact that it was cold outside to me, it was astronomical within the first hour and then I stopped counting because it was making me realize that every person who came in had nothing else to talk about, for that moment in their exsitance the most pertinant piece of information in their brain was it's cold out....

I can't wait til summer so I can hear if it's hot outside.

2.19.2007

Some Conclusions


So some of you know that this weekend I spent in East Lansing with my significant other. We like to every once and a great while go and stay somewhere and just spend a lot of time together as we do not get to do this very often, this weekend we had a very good life discussion over dinner, let me review what we learned.

1. I do not want to live in Michigan, She is not opposed to it.

2. She does not want to live in California, I am not opposed to it.

3. There are a couple other states that she would live, I will live just about any where.

4. Except Texas....I do not like the horns on the front of the trucks.

5. I can be a stay at home dad if I can bring in income (yes we really talk about this).

Overall we had a great weekend and came to some great ideas for when I win the lottery...on top of owning my own camp, building a bar with kessel and romo, I will also be the owner of a place like Gone Wired Cafe in Lansing we went there Sunday afternoon and it is by far the coolest coffee shop ever, it is like Common Grounds times 10 (for those of you who remember.)

The weekend was good though I enjoyed the time we spent together and it helped to talk through some stuff that we just hadn't talked about for a while. But I still don't want to live in Texas.

2.18.2007

Done and Done


I have ordered my Artichoke Hoodie....have you?

Can you Name them all....?

Flint




We'll hurt you...and by hurt we mean shoot.

Just kidding.

2.14.2007

E.T. 2

This would make a great sequal.

Black Ice, A Ditch, A tow truck and an Alero




Today I put my jeep in a ditch for the first time. The black ice on 23 north was what one could call a bitch. I was heading up to the gas station to get gas for the snowblower. Now I saw two cars in the ditch as I was driving and two tow trucks just as I was about to laugh at there misfortune I started to spin. I spun a grand total of 360 degrees and sat in the ditch. Well my intial reaction was pure terror it was followed by a laugh because the tow truck drivers were now looking at me, waiting for me to ask for help...this plea for help never came. I simply put the mean green machine into 4 wheel drive and I started at it. At first it was pretty stuck but I just kept at it, I inched forward till I was almost back on pavement and floored it, the jeep caught some traction and I pulled right out of the ditch.

I drove away as I recieved a wave and a thumbs up from the tow truck driver and that poor guy with the alero down in the ditch and that was that.

I'm pretty sure the alero guy will buy a jeep before next winter.

2.12.2007

Mr. Dead Animal Hat


Davey Crockett
Originally uploaded by Bill Clemente.
Tonight at the gas station I was very upset I didnt' have my camera because I would have stopped this couple and asked them for a picture of them. The couple had been married 41 years and they truely impressed me they were still laughing with eachother, not at eachother really with eachother. You see Mr. Dead Animal Hat need a propane tank filled and I complide. As Mrs. Dead Animal Hat went into pay and could not find her wallet, now this did not upset her she just called the last place she was and asked if they had it, they did not. So Mr. D.A.H. started looking through her purse and well long story short found it. Now they laughed and it was alright, the comment I will never forget though is as the walked out, the Mrs. said something to the affects of how he had drove her nuts for 41 years and he replied with, "You've got a whole lot more coming to you, you sent my ass to Vietnam."

She replied with, "You better watch it or I'll send your ass to Iraq."

The laughed and left in their creepy ass van.

This may not have seen like much to you but I saw a lot in those two, they had a certain bond most couples don't have, through 41 years they laughed together, 41 years....and I could hear no anger no disgrunteled comments....just love.

I admire that couple so one day, years from now, I'm going to buy a dead animal and wear it on my head.

Inspiration from Onion Rings


When I started college I wanted to be a photographer. A photojournalist traveling the world taking pictures of poverty stricken nations. Then I wanted to be a world famous dancer. Then I wanted to drive an ambulance because the program was only two years in length. Then I wanted to be a police officer because well...I can't figure that one out. Then I wanted to be an outdoor ed instructor so I became one then I wanted to help in the purchase of a camp. After that I decided that I wanted to stir things up and work in a gas station owned by my parents and get a dog named klyde. And then I became of a photographer.

Now I want to move to California for the summer and become a camp counselor (again.)

2.10.2007

Jealous



I thought that the choir I was in during high school was amazing...I was wrong.

2.09.2007

Fricken Hilarious


Okay before you jump all over my case for that title followed by this photo hear me out. First off I want to know how many faffarazi points you would get for Anna Nicole's Death? Number two you have to check out www.annanicolesmithdies.com

Go ahead click on it, it is an online memorial where people leave comments to warm the heart such as dynohmike writes, and I quote "Will those titties fit through the pearly gates? Probably not... to hell you go!"

You know that you want to look go ahead.

2.07.2007

Big Blue


Was this before or after my dad walked into the pole...and where is my paddle boat now....


Well today I had an extensive talk with the camp manager for Grizzly Creek Ranch in California, she was very excited that I was considering working for them this summer. The camp sounds nothing short of amazing they only have 120 kids a week maximum, I would be living in a brand new staff housing building and the camp is only 4 years old to begin with. They are interested in having me start a type of media program for them (that shouldn't be too hard). So things are looking good right now, they are going to confirm everything in the middle of March but I was told not to go talking to any other camps...that shouldn't be a problem. I'm excited for this and scared all at the same time....

Yes that's a picture of the camp and yes that's grass instead of shredded tree trunks.

2.05.2007

http://indexed.blogspot.com/

This blog is amazing, i was never one for diagrams or math but this is just genius.

Click Here.

I love it.

2.04.2007

For Kessel...and Romo




I have not a clue why Romo and I pick on Kessel so much it's truely a mystery that well I just can't be bothered to solve but I think that I just got one up on Romo....your move sir.

I am very amused with my work on this post, I'm actually laughing aloud to myself and my mother thinks I'm crazy but I find this amazing.

2.02.2007

It Can Still Be Done.


So I found this site and you put in your wish and how much money you would need to accomplish it and you see if people will give you the money...or if the site will give you some money. Well I posted a wish and it's to purchase a certain camp in North Carolina, now I mentioned that it was a group of us that had this wish...and I only asked for a Million but I think we could sort the rest out. Check it out vote on it comment on it, hype it up...yes I just said that. Just click the link.

http://www.robinhoodfund.com/cast-your-votes/wish/id/1508